Taking a Moment Away from Social Media

July 22, 2017 4 Comments

Taking a Moment Away from Social Media

I love social media. I love reading funny updates from friends and family, watching videos of adorable pets, staying abreast of momentous occasions from people I don’t speak with very often. But despite all of the wonderful news I learn from social media, and the glorious “unfollow” button, I am still bogged with political banter, tortured animals, and nefarious messenger-chain-letters.

Even with all of the annoying aspects of social media, I still enjoyed scrolling through Facebook (which is where I spend most of my social media time)…until one day about a month ago. A friend of mine posted a candid photo of a bunch of us working on a project. The photo of me was awful – my hair was in a messy bun, I have gained a bunch of weight this year, and I overall looked like something from “The Worst of Jerry Springer.” I asked the person to take down the photo, but they kindly insisted that I was my own worst critic and it was “such an awesome candid photo of us all working together.” Finally, I decided she was probably right and I was thinking too much into it.

Until someone commented: “Who is that fat beast on the right?”

I was so shocked and hurt, and figured my friend would delete the comment, but no, instead came a mixed barrage of agreements, laughing emojis, and a couple of “you’re a jerk’s.” I quickly untagged myself from the photo and blocked the initiator, but I realized it wasn’t enough.

Something about social media perpetuates the cruelty of humanity. More so, the indignant, maligned sense of righteousness that comes along with the commenter. To him, I am subhuman, an unwieldy mass to be extinguished.

Of all the moments I try to recreate in my products, I never anticipated empathy as being a required sentiment.

I decided I would quit social media.

The hardest part of quitting social media as a business owner is that I drive 96% of my business from my business’ Facebook page and VIP group; without social media, my business would drown.  I thought about having someone else manage my business social media while I took a hiatus, but I realized I would lose the core of my business, and that’s the raw honesty and the community I built around that. When I decided to quit, I could only do so half-heartedly, and that hurt the most. I needed to keep my own page so I could manage everything with my business.

I decided I would quit posting and hide as much as possible from my timeline unless it was directly related to my business.  Part of me thought that I might be giving him power by shutting down, but I was reclaiming my sense of self – my right to not live my life on the web.

Since I stopped posting over the last month, I feel like I have washed off an enigmatic, parasitic need to prove myself. It’s as though I have spent the last 20 years (I’m going way back to AOL profiles and AIM away-messages here) documenting the fun and friends that I have. I spend so much less time searching for the next witty comment or cute photo that I am actually enjoying the little moments.

Now, I’m making it sound like I was hyper-addicted to social media, and that was never true, but I did find myself trying to make people laugh or showing off some fun activity I participated in. Worst of all, though, I would allow myself to keep going through photos of my past and compare my ever-fluctuating weight. I know what I am, but I felt like the consistent reminder of what I was was starting to break me.

I long for the opportunity to just delete my profile and make a strictly-business account, but there is so much good that comes from the ability to quickly message a group of people, create an event, or ask a question in my soaping groups – obliterating social media altogether would just isolate me from my time era.

With that said, it was high time I took a moment away from social media to find a moment of balance.

Kristen Fusaro-PizzoPresident




4 Responses

Roberta Perry
Roberta Perry

July 26, 2017

Sometimes it takes one of those moments to step back, gain perspective and move forward with love and care to ourselves!

angela
angela

July 25, 2017

People can be nasty, and social media makes it even easier to be cruel. Many years ago, I received a poison pen letter. The author said many hurtful things to me in the letter. I was upset for a day, and then decided the letter said more about the author than it did about me. I’m not perfect, but I have feelings. So do you. If it weren’t for my business I wouldn’t be on any social media. I’m glad you were both able to move on and let it go. The comments really say more about what kind of people they are, not you.

Sharon
Sharon

July 23, 2017

Awful comment. I agree with Donna, I changed settings awhile back so that I could approve tags. I also try to limit the amount of time on Facebook, I waste too much time scrolling the newsfeed. Setting limits has helped me and allow me to market the business and make connections. There will always be negative people. be strong knowing you have the ability to look the other way.

Donna DeRosa
Donna DeRosa

July 23, 2017

I think we all need a break from social media from time to time. People who write mean comments like that are trying to deflect attention away from themselves. It’s those of us who put ourselves out there that will do great things. I know it’s hard though. I still remember every time anyone has called me fat. I know I should let it go, but I can’t seem to forget it.

You can go into your privacy settings on FB and prevent people from tagging you in photos. It might only keep it from showing up on your timeline, but at least that’s something. I don’t allow anyone to post anything on my timeline until I review it.

I unfriended most people from my grade school and high school days. Someone wrote something racist on one of my pictures on Instagram and I was so furious. I deleted it immediately and blocked them.

Everything we publish whether it is on our business or personal pages reflects on our brands. I don’t need that kind of negativity and ignorance. They weren’t my target market anyway.

And just a little reminder: You’re gorgeous inside and out. You have the most beautiful skin I’ve even seen.

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